Radha Madhava Kalyanam
Normal Practice:
Radha Kalyanam is specially performed at the early hours – 3.30 a.m. or so and should be over before sunrise. This is the ancient system. This is because it is not a Kalyana Utsavam normally done as in other cases. It has a philosophical import. It is considered to be the Jeeva Brahma Ikyam. The Jeevaatma merging with Pasramatma. Radha is the embodiment of Bhakthi and Mdhava the Purusha (Brahman). A Bhaktha rejoining with Brahman is the spiritual essence of Radha Kalyanam. However, it is being performed in the normal way like other Kalyana Utsavams for our own convenience and enjoyment externally.
The question is: Is there the other formalities like Nischithartham, Kotnotsavam (Muthukkuthal), Varaprekshana, Chhornika, Pravaram, Kanyaka Dhanam, Panigrahanam and Thirumangalya Dharanam etc. etc.? As it is mentioned, Radha Kalyanam is a spiritual way of merging with God. All these need not be there. However, it has come to practice to perform the Kalyanam just like Seetha Kalyanam etc. There is nothing wrong in doing it. Moreover, the Choornikai in Radha Kalyanam specifically states that at the behest of Lord Krishna, Brahma Deva performed the Kriyas like Pravaram, Kanyaka Dhanam, Panigrarahanam Homams etc. though there were no Sambhandhis from both sides. This may be another reason it is to be conducted in early hours (Ushas).
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong in performing Radhakalyanam like any other Kalyana Utsavam, so far as we perform it with a mindset focused on the Jeeva Brahma Ikyam, principle. It is the intention and not the method, which counts more. Moreover, Our Gurus have given us a full padhathi for Radha Kalyanam and it is befitting to perform it accordingly. If we look at the Choornikai of Radha Kalyanam, it describes the scene of realization by Radha of her real status and makes her jump to unite with Madhava. Let us look at the Choornika Saram, to understand this fully.
Choornika Saram:
Sri Nandagopa has gone to the forest for cattle feeding and took the child Krishna with him on his shoulders. Suddenly the sky went dark and thunder and ligtning started and there was a heavy downpour of rain. He lamented that Krishna would get frightened and should be sent home and was looking around, when he found Radha Devi coming along. He called out for Radha and gave the child to her and asked her to fetch him home. She held the child lovingly close to her and was walking. In fact this climatic change was brought about by Krishna for getting such a chance to make Radha realize her original form. Suddenly the Goloka scene was created with high buildings and Upaarikai and Madhava and Radha rejoicing in their original form. Seeing this, Radha Devi suddently realized her original status and tried to rush to Krishna with both hands spread apart in joy forgetting about that she was holding the child. At that time, the child disappeared and Lord Madhava appeared in her presence. As Madhava and Radha are in human form of Krishna and Radha, Krishna feld they should abide by the rules and hence Krishna called Brahma Deva and asked him to perform the marriage immediately as per vedic rites and Brahma Deva perfomed it with all formalities like Pravaram, Kanyaka Dhanam, Panigrahanam and Homams.
This is the meaning of the Choornikai in short. Thus, there is a proof that the Kalyanam was performed in full form like any other Kalyana Utsavam. Hence, there is nothing wrong in performing it according to the Padhathi given to us by the Bhajan Gurus. However, Nichithartham, Mappillai Azhaippu, Maalai Matruthal, Oonjal etc. need not be done.